A Few Funny Thoughts to Brighten Your Day

Funny Thoughts For The Day

Calvin and Hobbes

“The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us.”
~ Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes ~

“You can’t have everything… where would you put it?”
~ Steven Wright ~

“Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way when you criticize them, you are a mile away from them and you have their shoes.”
~ Jack Handey ~

“Why do grandparents and grandchildren get along so well? They have the same enemy — the mother.”
~ Claudette Colbert ~

“It’s always darkest before the dawn. So if you’re going to steal your neighbor’s newspaper, that’s the time to do it.”
~ Author Unknown ~

“If you think nobody cares if you’re alive, try missing a couple of car payments.”
~ Flip Wilson ~

“Why is it when we talk to God we’re praying, but when God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic?”
~ Lily Tomlin ~

“You know you’re getting old when you stoop to tie your shoelaces and wonder what else you could do while you’re down there.”
~ George Burns ~

“If at first you don’t succeed, redefine success.”
~ Author Unknown ~

Do you have a favorite funny thought or joke you can share with us?

We’d love to hear it!  🙂

I found these quotes at this site:

http://www.diy-stress-relief.com/funny-thought-for-the-day.html

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